The great detective Holmes does not solve mysteries or use deductive reasoning. He does, however, hunt vampires. Using three-minute episodes, Vampire Holmes retells the story of the great Holmes and his assistant. What begins as an ordinary detective agency takes a turn for the occult when the Metropolitan Police of London secretly hire Holmes and Hudson to investigate vampires.
Or at least that's what Holmes would tell anyone who asks. In reality, he and Hudson spend most of their time sitting around arguing, and failing to solve any cases. Joined by the not-so-black, demon cat Kira, and their terrifying rent-hungry landlady, this is the story of the man who was most definitely not London's greatest detective.
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Comentários
ZephSilver
There's bad and then there's Vampire Holmes. I have a hard time understanding what the screenwriters behind this "thing" were thinking when they all sat down to write it. Did they all huddle together, started snickering as someone blurted out "let's create the tritest, most unfunny thing imaginable!"? Because honestly, I'm having a hard time seeing the inception of this project being anything else. To put it in perspective, shows like Ninja Slayer, Inferno Cop and others are along those lines are Shakespearean masterpieces by comparison. This isn't the "so bad it's good" kind of title. This is the "so bad, please end my life"kind of nonsense.
I can't even bring myself to write a troll review dubbing it a "masterpiece" since that would require more care than the show even put forward towards itself. It's simply not worth that kind of effort — hell, even bothering to write about it is too much as it is.
Story: "What story?"/10
Our lead Holmes sits on his ass, acts incompetent, and occasionally attempt to deliver office-cubicle levels of dry humor... rinse and repeat. That's it, that's the setup for every episode.
Art: Cardboard/10
Animation, what animation? There's none to speak of. As far as art goes, Southpark's paper mache cutouts had far more detail than anything belched out by this product.
Sound: Well... at least it has an opening theme/10
The only sound here was that of me face-palming myself with each dull line of "comedy" delivered.
Characters: Caricatures/10
Holmes was a little shit, his assistant was a little shit, the end.
Enjoyment: Watching Paint Dry/10
Most shorts are over before they could even leave an impressive, but Vampire Holmes isn't one of them. It delivered on something, that something was pure cringe-inducing frustration with an extra layer of boredom.
Overall: Why Bother?/10
If you have literally nothing better to do with your life, then sure, go for it, but it might be more productive to spend that time picking your nose instead.
literaturenerd
Overview: The year 2015 has seen a fair number of truly horrible anime released, but no other series have been met with the sheer disdain and critical revulsion of Vampire Holmes. What is this bizarre little series and just why is it SO bad?! Read on if you dare my friends and I will explain! Story: 1/10 The story of Vampire Holmes was adapted from a popular Japanese smartphone game, which should already be setting off red flags that this show is going to suck! Would you ever want to see a movie adaptation of "Flappy Bird" or "Candy Crush"? The basic premise is that there is ahighly incompetent, lazy, and idiotic spoof of Sherlock Holmes simply named "Holmes". Detective Holmes is accompanied by his assistant "Hudson", who is of course a goofy parody of Watson. Together our 2 imbeciles must save London from vampires...even though at NO POINT do they ever fight vampires! Instead, every single episode follows the following formula: Holmes acts like a jackass, Hudson grows mildly upset, and the episode ends!
Art: 0/10
Vampire Holmes actually has the worst looking art I have ever seen in an anime! This looks like something Dingo Studios from Phoenix Games or Video Brinquedo (Brazilian Pixar) would do! To make matters even worse, Holmes looks like a fusion between Sasuke Uchiha and Lelouch vi Britannia, so I want to punch him every second he is on screen!
Entertainment: 3/10
Vampire Holmes clearly tries to copy the low budget, ultra random humor style of Inferno Cop and Ninja Slayer. However, the writing is utter shit and most of the jokes completely fall flat. One thing I must point out though, is that Vampire Holmes the game and anime did MUCH better with Japanese audiences because its humor also borrows heavily from traditional Japanese Manzai style humor. Manzai is a stand-up comedy routine in which puns, double entendre, and biting remarks are rapidly delivered between a straight man called the "Tsukkomi" (Hudson) and the funny man called the "Boke" (Holmes). Many of these puns and double entendre don't translate well across language barriers, so basically imagine watching Abbott and Costello's routine "Who's on First" if you didn't speak English and you watched a direct German translation. It wouldn't be funny!
Overall: 2/10
Although this IS probably the worst animation I have ever seen in an anime, it is NOT the worst overall anime I have ever seen. Firstly, some moments are actually so stupid they are almost funny. Secondly, it isn't the show's fault that I am not a native Japanese speaker, so hating the show because I don't understand the puns is just as stupid as hating Tatami Galaxy because everyone talks way too fast! I have to realize that I was NOT the intended audience and that alone is not a valid point of criticism against a show. Lastly, there are only 12 episodes at 3 minutes each. This means that a single episode of other equally bad anime like "I Don't Like You at all Big Brother" waste as much of your time as the entirety of Vampire Holmes. Vampire Holmes knows it is shit and doesn't really overstay its welcome. You the audience watch in disbelief at the bad animation, perhaps laugh at a few terrible jokes, and then it is all over. Sadly, this is a MUCH better experience than sitting through many horrible anime I have watched.
TLDR: It isn't actually deserving of "worst ever" but it is still REALLY bad! Don't watch it under any circumstances unless you are a masochist or a native Japanese speaker who can actually understand and appreciate the humor!
somaisbatman
I want to tell you readers a story. Vampire Holmes has been a strange beast since day 1. After the raw untranslated version was released, no major subbing groups heeded the call. However, Last-Subs did. Last-Subs, a mysterious and intriguing group, published their subs on nyaa when nobody else did. Not as a video release, with the subs placed over the already-existing raws, but just as a .ass file. If you wanted to watch with their subs, you had to do it yourself, downloading a raw and then adding the .ass file in afterwards. And boy, was it worth it! Last-Subs may very well have been made by puttingthe script into Google Translate. It's that level of terrible, so bad that it's amazing. The first 2 episodes alone contain such great lines as:
"The only people who use the floor as a bed are the losers."
"Ate recently, in addition has to work because we are bankrupt."
"This very seriously."
"Damn, my face is fused to the bedroom floor."
The actual show itself is terribly uninteresting and low-quality, but Last-Subs made it totally worth watching. I was laughing my ass off for those glorious 2 minutes and then looked forwards to next week's release. I'd rate those episodes as 10s.
But after episode 3, Last-Subs went strangely silent. There were no more fansubbing groups for the show. I practically gave up. Then I learned that viewster hosts the show's official release. With actual coherent subs, the show lost all of its joy and meaning. I held off, then watched episodes 4-12 in one day (The whole series only takes 24 minutes). It was a pretty miserable experience, and the "Vampire" part of "Vampire Holmes" was entirely nonexistent. I'd rate those episodes as 1.
Taking all of this into account, I found the average score of the show through its individual episodes. 10+10+10+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1 / 12 = 3.25, rounded down to 3.
In conclusion, definitely watch the Last-Subs versions of the early episodes, and you can safely ignore the rest.
kurikurih
WARNING: THE SUBS FOR THIS ANIME ARE HORRID! I just finished watching a ONA which had 5-minute episodes, and I really liked the duration. So I searched for new series which had short episodes and ran into Vampire Holmes. First of all, most of the reviews in this page are useless. You MUST watch ALL of the episodes to know the story of this... thing. Watching 4 or 5 episodes or even 10 is not enough. I do not consider that a good thing though. There are a lot of joke reviews for this, but I'm deadly serious. STORY: 5/10 I'll start by saying that this anime doesn't evenfollow the synopsis it has. Holmes NEVER searches for vampires, he is not a vampire either, he doesn't work with the Metropolitan Police of London or nothing like that. I really can't understand why did the studio give that synopsis if it's completely made up.
So the story is about Holmes, a lazy bum who yells at Hudson while sitting all day in a couch. Or the floor. Or whatever. He never does nothing, even though Hudson constantly brings him cases, he just gives up after 30 seconds. He even likes to tell REALLY bad jokes at any time imaginable. Also a weird talking cat called Kira appears all of a sudden in some random episode without a reason.
--SPOILERS--
But in reality, Holmes is an incredibly well disguised dark-mage, super intelligent man who can solve 4 cases at the same time. WTF. I seriously believed it all the way through the series. At least this is well done.
This is when I talk about when I say you must watch all the episodes. The watcher doesn't have even a hint of this until the 11th episode. Why? It's another mystery.
ART: 1/10
Wow, this is bad. I think it killed my eyes. Even I can do a better job. I understand that this is a supposedly an adaptation of a smartphone game, but that isn't even a poor excuse. It's so poorly drawn... I think it has the same 4 frames for each character. God, it's so bad I can't find words to describe it.
SOUND: 5/10
OP and ED are the same and is surprisingly good! I'ts playing in my head all the time, I don't know what happened. Apart from that, there is no music or anything, just the same weird sound effects for every episode.
And talking about the opening, I wonder why starting from the 7th episode the opening has some random sound effects in the back? What do they mean?
CHARACTER: 4/10
If you ask me who Hudson is, well... I don't have the slightest idea. Vampire Holmes just centers in Holmes even though (I consider) Hudson is the MC. I don't know exactly what Kira is either, but I don't think I want to know. Besides this, Holmes is has a decent story.
ENJOYMENT: 8/10
Something above from 5! This is advancing. I don't know why, but this is SO bad that I just had to watch it. Every time an episode came out I just felt the necessity to watch this. I don't know, I think I wanted to know if this was going to follow a story. But I really enjoyed it for some reason.
I think I've gone crazy. Please don't judge me.
OVERALL: 4/10
-You have to watch all of the episodes to know the story.
-The synopsis is a lie.
-The animation is SO BAD it hurts.
-I want to punch Hudson in the face.
-The OP is good and catchy.
-It has a pretty decent voice acting.
-It's so bad, it's funny.
Don't take this series too seriously. Millawls' review said in the enjoyment section "I'm just enjoying the glorious train wreck." and it's the same for me. If you have time to kill, watch it, it's 24 minutes long and decent, but just for the ending. I just hope new short-episode ONAs start the next season.
McAkiosMeatMigi
Vampire Holmes Peak anime. The greatest show ever created. A lucious meal filled with every delectable dish you could ever imagine. That’s what comes to mind whenever my brain gives me the pleasure of thinking about Vampire Holmes. More wondrous thoughts have never graced the mind of an individual; if anyone rates Vampire anything below an undoubted and indisputed masterpiece, I will personally find them to torture them in any way imaginable, from extracting nails to psychological vengeance. If I had to go even one day without the orgasm-inducing flawlessly produced expertly woven story of philosophical depth that Vampire Holmes is, I would baja blast mybrain out.
Characters
What is there not to like? Holmes likely has the greatest and most profound development I’ve ever witnessed. He begins as a cowardly and unsuccessful detective, riddled with the struggles of life and living alone in a dilapidated mansion. By the end he is an inspiring hero, his glory rivaling that of Norse gods. He is cool, calm, and calculated, every movement meticulous and purposeful. Even so, Holmes is still a caring character. If anyone ever was carved out to be an exemplary man, it’s Holmes. For example, in Episode 7, he shows his compassion to the sickening and brutal robber, a man thought to be irredeemable, by diffusing a stressful situation with his kindness and brilliant mind. He could have easily shot the abhorrent and loathsome bandit, but with quick thinking and even quicker sleight of hand, Holmes expertly managed to switch his real gun to a play one, effectively saving his loving partner as well as giving the scum of the earth robber another chance. The man reminiscent of 6ix9ine was almost certainly able to turn his life of crime around and learn to work hard to support his struggling family, all because of Holmes' compassionate character. Holmes is a man of extraordinary wisdom and knowledge, a man of perfect understanding, a man of goodness itself personified. Although he is obviously the greatest human to have ever lived, he is still exceptionally relatable because of the incredibly realistic struggles he has to face. Holmes is a character marred by life, but he always emerges victorious, which is the true joy of watching his character. Hudson, the other major protagonist, is also amazing. His undying devotion to Holmes even when he’s going through terrible circumstances is undoubtedly heartwarming; he is the perfect partner for Holmes. Hudson brings a whole new perspective to Holmes’ life, and he is certainly entertaining to watch. Also, the wonderfully woven subplot of romance between him and Christina is potentially the greatest romance I have ever witnessed; I must admit, I cried multiple times. The characters of Vampire Holmes are spectacular examples of what realistic and emotionally moving characters can be, I am absolutely blown away. 10/10
Plot
Vampire Holmes’ plot proves to be just as awe-worthy as the characters are. The pacing is superb, action and tension await at every turn but space is still left for deeply emotional moments that are often tear inducing. The amount of content that fits into 36 minutes of screentime is absolutely mindblowing. Although a third of the show consists of the OP, no content is lost within a useless song. In my opinion the OP may be the strongest aspect in the entire show. Symbolic attributes woven together with intricate and thought provoking themes allow the OP to be the crowning element of the show. The phrase “everlasting love” is played a total of 48 times in the OP, indicating how important it really is. This phrase can symbolize a multitude of things. For example, it could be a reference to the epic romance of Hudson and Christina, or Hudson’s undying loyalty and love towards Holmes. Also, it could exemplify how compassionate Holmes is. “Everlasting love” is the perfect phrase to describe how much I enjoy this series, and the extreme depth and weight it adds to this show is worthy of rejoicing. That being said, it shouldn’t detract from how incredible the rest of the show is. Vampire Holmes has the number one spot on my list of astounding plots, as it manages to merge multiple genres into one thrilling ride of action, betrayal, love, drama, horror, romance, friendship, gore, cleanliness, torture, glory, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, atheism, cool stuff, more cool stuff, really cool stuff, extremely cool stuff, the coolest stuff, everlasting love, romance, love, kindness, romance and love, everlasting love, nudity, PG, Attack on Titan, One Piece, Death Note, dogs, Clannad, some more cool stuff, and shit. Basically, Vampire Holmes is the best part of anything. No matter who you are, it’s guaranteed that you will get something out of Vampire Holmes. The plot is a perfect shell of chocolate, surrounding every character to push them to evolve and develop in the face of adversity and to encapsulate exemplary cinema concisely and creatively. 10/10
Themes
Now we get to the deepest part of the show. Vampire Holmes proves to be even more thought provoking than shows such as Monster, and the terrific tapestry of tangible yet tumultuous themes that this show displays is undeniably a masterpiece. The deep philosophical topics will topple any obstacles you had in your mind regarding life and will provide optimal content for contemplation; it’s chock-full of thoughtful elements and void of any plotholes. After I finished, I was in a trance-like state for almost a month straight, simply because it was too deep. My life was completely altered; I found myself in much happier place and was able to turn my life completely around because this show was so amazing and perfect wow I cannot believe how much of an impact it had my thoughts are divulging into terror and exultation I have reached a new plain of understanding I am now a higher being who has transcended time and space to become the ultimate vampire detective compassionate like Holmez yet still only a studen my listlesss works spill fruitlessly from my lip as an unheaded recommennation to wach Vampire Holmes I am a proVHet listen to my woVHs ignorant chVHdren of the eVHVH we are all deVHVHd to die we must worship worship worship we bVHVHe because the alternativejsjs is to live in fear and the unknown is terrifyingsjwiis VAMPIRE HOLMES is our Godsjakoa we believesjsksn that we will see jssmshshhshsh Holmes with Hudson on his rightndksoskddndndndHSOWKENOEPWPLVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVHVH!!!!??!!92926302029!?VH
Final Thoughts
This show sucks but is somehow amazing
Final Rating: 1/10
Do Watch: honestly watch it because it’s short
StarlightShiba
I'm going to be honest here, this anime was BAD. I kinda liked it though sad to say. Why the hell do i like this shit? i asked my self. my response is because of how randomly terrible it was. Vampire holmes might be the 2015 pupa, because its terrible with 12 short episodes. But as i say i kinda like this, i watched it because i found it's comedy hilarious. Yes the comedy was random and made no sense but i was laughing and questioning why. but rather than what i laughed at this anime was terrible. for one thing everything was half-assed. and had very littleanimation even to the point where you dont know if it's made with the MMD program. the opening was OK to listen to because it wasnt ear rape. but chances are if you're reading this and you want to see this anime, don't unless you like random comedy. but chances are you will really hate this anime. but if you ask me about my feelings on it this is what i think.
"It's fucking terrible but has me laughing"
CatSoul
As I continue on my quest to watch infamous bad anime, I came across a title known as "Vampire Holmes". Hilariously, this is the most dropped anime on MAL, even though it shouldn't take you more than a half hour to an hour to watch. Even the fansub group that was subbing it dropped it after the third episode. But what is it exactly that makes Vampire Holmes so bad? This was a question I could not resist finding the answers to. STORY (3/10): The synopsis to Vampire Holmes is pretty useless, as for the majority of the series nothing happens. Every episode tends to go something likethis:
Hudson: Holmes let's do detective stuff
Holmes: Nah, *irrelevant bullshit*
*rest of the episode will be about irrelevant bullshit*
You might be thinking, "Oh, I like slice of life anime a lot, maybe I'll like this." No...no, you won't.
ART (3/10):
I can't figure out what Vampire Holmes was animated in (MikuMikuDance? GoAnimate? A mixture?), but it certainly wasn't any high-tech technology. There are animations on Newgrounds that look better then this. The show also has a ton of reused footages and frames.
SOUND (3/10):
Hudson has a whiny, annoying voice, Holmes sounds about average, and the music is meh. On a side note, you are better off going with the official Viewster subs for this one; even if they aren't great, the three episodes that were fansubbed were obviously put through Google Translate. There are maybe three coherent sentences over the course of those three episodes.
(Makes you wonder why the fansub group even bothered dropping it. Saved them a whole five minutes each week putting 2 minutes of material through Google Translate.)
However, even in the official subs, Vampire Holmes' "humor" comes off like it was constructed by a preschooler. Every joke has a confusing setup then goes right to a stale punchline.
CHARACTER (3/10):
Vampire Holmes lacks the time for any of its characters to receive any kind of development. I didn't care for either Hudson or Holmes. I kinda liked the cat.
ENJOYMENT (3/10):
Eh...I enjoyed this ever-so-slightly-more then another short vampire anime I put myself through (Diabolik Lovers).
OVERALL (3/10):
Are you a legitimate vampire fan looking for a quality anime with an entertaining representation of the genre? Run in the opposite direction immediately.
Do you like comedy? This is not for you.
Do you like the supernatural? This is not for you.
Do you like bad anime? This is probably for you.
Are you stoned and have you seen every other anime you could enjoy while stoned? Are you sure? I dunno, maybe watch Vampire Holmes? Or go bake some cookies. You'll probably regret that less tomorrow.
FishChampion
If I were to describe Vampire Holmes, it would be like this: Sherlock Holmes but with a twist that I can't spoil. Trust me, it will blow your mind when you get to episode 12. I've watched the whole series 23 times now. I can't enjoy other comedies anymore because whenever I watch them, I end up wanting to watch Vampire Holmes instead! The characters are simply brilliant... Hudson is a far more interesting reimagining of Watson and Christina is a terrifying adversary...The plotline... outstanding...
Don't listen to the haters, you know how I would also describe Vampire Holmes?
A masterpiece.
MakaWakaMayMay
Vampire Holmes is an anime that honestly has nothing going for it. I decided since this show was short I might as well give it a shot, and my god did I waste my mere 36 minutes watching this show. Though it does have a few funny moments(very rarely)it brings nothing new to the table. (Story) 3 With every new episode connecting to the same premise, it may as well be a cartoon. Granted, it did have continuity, but it was very sparse. The story was very poorly written at that, as all they focused on was well...comedy! The continuity is the ONLY thing keepingthis from getting a 2 or lower.
(Art) 4
Meh, the art is nothing special. but it's something that I quite liked in the cover image. The art style was weird but the character Holmes himself looked a little cool. However, the animation was terrible and the art had a lot of chibi at times.
(Sound) 4
Yes, the voice actors were okay. I don't hate any anime voice actors, or voice actors in general to be honest. But the one thing that ruins the sound in this anime, is the subtitles. With greatly translated lines such as "It opened alone!" I wouldn't recommend watching it with subs if you speak Japanese, especially if you're learning english. The theme song was the best part of the show in my opinion, as it was actually kind of good. I've heard hundreds of anime themes and this one might not be the worst I've heard.
(Character) 1
The characters in this show had no real purpose and were trying too to be professional and weird at the same time. They were only there so the show has characters. Granted, the two main characters are meh, but there are very few other characters. Though the design for Holmes was kind of cool, his personality didn't fit his design. Although, I feel that's what they were going for but it just feels out of place.
(Enjoyment) 1
Never before has an anime made my stomach hurt like this. This show was so bad that my head and stomach both hurt after watching this. And it took a little while for the pain to go away too, mind you. As I watched this series my rating for it slowly got lower and lower until I ended up rating it a 1/10. I could barely sit through each episode, and remember being worried or in agony as I was on episode 5 out of the twelve. I just wanted the pain to stop.
(Overall) 3
This series was a bad experience, and something I plan to never watch again. If you want a good show and like vampires without continuity, you should just stick with a cartoon.
VampireHolmesFan
I found this anime one night while I was up and not able to sleep, I immediately watched the entire thing. Many may think that this anime is no good and overall a joke, but not me. once you finish the entire show the plot really gets pulled together into a masterpiece of work. Not only was it able to help me fall asleep that dark night it made me laugh as I had never before and brought me a real sense of joy that I haven't experienced since I was a child. This anime basically changed my life and has inspired me to bea better person and do the things I'd never think I was able to before. some may think that this review is a joke but I'm wholeheartedly and 100% serious about how this anime changed my world. Thank you vampire holmes and the entire cast involved it changed my life for the better.
megafat
The Vampire Holmes anime is a pretty obvious advertisement, and it's not even that good of an advertisement. Made to promote a mystery smartphone game developed by Cucuri for iOS and Android devices, the plot follows Detective Holmes, and his assistant Hudson, as both of them solve a case given to them by the Metropolitan Police of London. While the plot is basic, it is enough to get a mystery mobile game rolling. And you'd think that a short anime used to advertise said mobile game, it could lead into the games plot as some sort of prelude, or maybe be an adaptation of a smallpart of the plot from right at the beginning, but it isn't.
In the anime, Holmes is given a case to solve, but we don't see him solve any of it. Oh, he does solve the case that was given to him, you just don't see any of the actual detective work, with the anime instead focusing on all of the in between bits that you wouldn't want to actually see. This was probably done because of extreme budget and time constraints, but it makes the entire series frustrating to sit through. Which you wouldn't think is a problem with how short the whole thing is.
Each episode is only 3 minutes, and with 12 episodes, that's a total of 36 minutes to work with. While not a lot of time, it could have been used to solve a smaller case. Or tease the plot of the game like i mentioned earlier. But instead, the whole series is Holmes and Hudson spending most of their time not solving the case and arguing about not solving the case.
The whole plot gets solved off screen. What we get instead is slapstick involving a loud and annoying landlady who continually hassles Holmes for rent, and Holmes's pet, a mysterious cat named Kira, who is more than it seems, and not much else.
The worst thing about it's measly 3 minute time limit is that a significant chunk of each episode is the opening and closing credits. So the series went from having about 36 minutes of time to work with, to less than 15. Did a series like this need an OP and ED around the same length as a regular series?
The Vampire Holmes anime isn't really worth watching, unless you need something quick and easy to digest during a lunch break. And even then, there are quite a few other anime that you could watch instead of this, such as Detroit Metal City, Inferno Cop, and the Lucky Star spin-off Miyakawa-ke no Kuufuku. Even the McDonald's advertising campaign (the Join The Crew campaign), about the girl who becomes the boss of her own McDonalds, is a step up from this.
Maybe if you speak Japanese fluently, or even read Japanese really well, you could probably go check out the game instead. At least you'll be solving a mystery.
Plk_Lesiak
Wow... Just wow... This extremely ugly and obnoxiously merchandised (it promotes a similarly crappy mobile game, reminding you about it in every episode) slapstick comedy had, in my experience, one fairly funny joke (the one with 30% discount) and one somewhat passable one. The rest is complete gibberish with no redeeming qualities. There's also absolutely no value in watching as a kind of "so bad it's good" piece of anime. It actively tries to be parody, but the awful writing, horrible art and mediocre delivery of the jokes make it utterly worthless, leaving nothing to laugh at even ironically. Did I already mentioned obnoxious advertisement? It's aconstant element that adds even more insult to the injury of suffering through this. The only positive is 3 minute episodes that make it possible to go through the whole series in one short sitting and leaving it behind you forever...
setitoff
In my opinion, the synopsis of Vampire Holmes gave me an idea of something that sounded promising. It was not even close to how it really was. STORY (1/10) The opening might seem promising, but hardly anything shown in it will be mentioned throughout the course of the story. Through about three quarters of the anime, there is absolutely no plot. For episodes on end, it only displays Holmes in his home together with Hudson, doing nothing of importance. You might find yourself continuously waiting for something plot-like to happen, and then the episode ends. Closing to the end, some things shown in the OP are finallydisplayed, but in the end are never explained. As a side-effect of not having any plot in the early, incredibly short episodes, the story ends on an unsatisfying note as they have never mentioned any of the elements before it happens. You're left with a vague and confusing case closed, left unexplained.
ART (1/10)
The art is downright terrible. The animation is close to non-existent and does not flow well. It's fairly easy to tell that frames are being re-used, and frequently looks unfinished and thrown together, either because of a tight schedule, or pure laziness. The backgrounds are nothing to brag about either, as they are overly simple and at times have varying art styles clashing with the style of the characters and the mood of the scene. The art is overall very lazily executed. The opening has better visuals than the rest.
SOUND (3/10)
I took no note of the work of the voice actors. Watching a car crash, it's hard to notice the surroundings. The opening (and ending) song called Everlasting Love was around average, but felt so out of place with the overall feel of the (imaginary) plot. It was, in truth, not a good match for this anime, and made the already bad content even more ridiculous.
CHARACTER (1/10)
The characters are unusually flat and one-dimensional, and there is no character development present. That makes sense in a way, as there is nothing to get any development from.
ENJOYMENT (4/10)
As strange as it is, I did enjoy this to an extent. Though the comedy was for the most of the time out of place and felt forced, some parts were enjoyable. But, to tell the truth, the true comedy was in the horrid art, the unrealistic characters, and the misplaced opening song.
Vampire Holmes having such short episodes might be its biggest weakness, but I don't dare to imagine how it would have been if it did have standard-length episodes. All in all, not an anime I would recommend, unless bad anime is wanted.
batongpuso
Meh, I have seen worse, it actually did a great job of having the game not be some boring forgotten, and out-of-service Japanese-exclusive game so I give them that. It's not offensively bad or disgustingly wrong, it's just some anime some unknown mobile game company managed to make, and the quality matches that. It did not plan to be ambitious and fail expectations or be generic and some basic random plot, it is just some omake-style show for the lolz. Sure, the Opening has nothing to do with the show, there are large amounts of product placement, and the animation is comparable to the sevendeadly sins, there is absolutely no plot and more...
... but this is literally an unknown mobile-game company and it is already better than most advertisers such as Raid, Gardenscape, Rise of Kingdoms, Mafia City and more. This is an advertisement series and should not be compared to the likes of Code Geass and Gurren Lagann but those shitty game advertisement companies, in this case, this is a massive win over all of those. Video game ads truly have fallen from Vampire Holmes to cringe people do not want like man v.s. woman, choose the right answer, fake cutscenes, stolen from others, that cancer that is the Oh No Tiktok song, and more.
animecutylover
If you're a fan of Sherlock Holmes and Vampires while also liking the genre of Comedy, then you should try this anime. It's funny and kinda refreshing since the original Holmes is such a serious guy while this Holmes is pretty laid-back. Even if it seems like he's not much of a "detective", towards the end it shows that his actions do have some impact on his work as a detective; even if you don't notice while watching the episodes as his actions seem pretty random. However, it's pretty much explained near the end on his actions and their effects. Even if you already saw the ratingthis anime got, just try it for yourself. Who knows, you might enjoy it or you might not. It depends on you, not what others think. Just try it, like you try other anime.
Snipa
If an anime dictionary were to be created a giant picture of Vampire Holmes would be seen next to the following words: dreadful, awful, terrible, frightful, atrocious, disgraceful, deplorable, shameful, hopeless, rotten, appalling, crummy, pathetic, pitiful, woeful, useless, lousy, dire, abysmal etc.etc. With that being said, I commend the creators of this anime for even getting this out into the market, that in itself is a great achievement. I say this for a number of reasons, the first being that this was clearly not meant to be enjoyable, or funny. Yet from the looks of it, it canbe classified as comedy, and it SURPRISINGLY caused me to laugh once, or twice. That is good for an anime that didn't expect to amount to anything. Isn't it? Before I get into the specifics of how bad the anime is, there is good reason to point out that this is the first anime of its kind. An anime solely based on promoting something else, at the end of each episode which only lasts around 3 minutes, if you skip the opening that is, otherwise it is 5 minutes in total. At the end of which a product is shown to the viewer, the product being an app. They even had the audacity to hide the one thing that was remotely interesting within a product that would need to be purchased. That was one of the laughs that this anime had gotten out of me, hilarious. At any rate...
Story(1): M.I.A (Missing in Anime)
Art(1): The budget must have been outrageously low for this anime, it seems as if the artist followed some sort of anime drawing tutorial, yes you read right, artist as in one single artist, because it would be absolutely ludicrous to think that multiple persons worked in this department.
Sound(1): I would hate for you to waste your time watching this anime, so here is some homework for you. Step 1: Obtain a black board and some chalk. Step 2: Apply the ample amount of force to cause screeching. That would be the equivalent of the sound you'll get from Vampire Holmes.
Character(1): If this is what can pass for character development nowadays, then YOU are in luck. Submit your resume to Studio! Cucuri, and you will be on your way to becoming a top notch character designer. All kidding aside, the characters are two-dimensional in the physical, and abstract sense of the term.
Enjoyment (2): This may shock you, but since the point of me watching the anime was to see how bad an anime can get. I enjoyed it a little.
So in conclusion if you are looking for an anime that is Grade A, amazing, or high in quality, then this anime is not for you. However if you just want to laugh at how bad the anime is then this is the one you'll want to watch next.
Lily77
So for this review, I thought I would compile a list of questions I want to ask the director/ directors about this show. Hopefully it will subtly describe my views on the show. Why is the show called Vampire Holmes when it doesn't feature a vampire? Why does the show feature a werewolf? Why isn't this show called Werewolf Holmes or Holmes discovers werewolf? What two-year-olds animated this? Why does the animation switch from 2D to 3D without any reason or need to? Why does the show use 3D animation? Why does this show consist of filler episodes when the episodes are only three minutes long?Why do some of the episodes include previews when the episodes are only three minutes long? Why are the episodes three minutes long? What was your budget for this? What was the need for the cat? Was this supposed to be funny? What was the need to make this show in the first place? What kind of app promotion is this? Did the animators get paid? Did you actually make any money off this? Did you make it this standard to shock people? What have you gained from this? Were your animators on drugs? Were you on drugs? Am I on drugs? Is Holmes gay? I don't know how to feel anymore
Bountyfull
This show is genuinely hideous, with one exception. There is nothing meaningful to discuss about it, and I can't even try to spoil some stuff to present my case, a cursory glance at the first episode clearly shows how terrible it is at... everything. I am also left wondering why "Vampire" is even in the title, given the complete absence of vampires from the anime. It should have been a promotional material for the detective-style game the anime was based on, but it ended up being a disgusting promo that arguably caused fewer people to be interested in the game. Because of the lack of budget, they justskipped solving any case (which is the main reason one would have downloaded the game, to begin with) and resolved them off-screen during the last episode. This appalling decision makes me question what was the point of a promotional material that doesn't even hook you into the meat of the game, but on the contrary, keeps you from touching it with a 10-foot pole.
I would usually try to briefly analyze the story/art/sound/character departments but there is just nothing of value all around. It's all pure, unadulterated garbage.
There is barely any animation, and when it is there, we are dealing with powerpoint-level stuff, everything is recycled to nauseous degrees, sound effects are ear-bleeding, visual effects are actual, unironical stock effects that you can find in Youtube videos back from 2006, the "jokes" aren't fun and just don't work, and even if they were, the comedic timings are all over the place, the characters themselves are annoying, the voice actors are amateurish, random stuff keeps happening for no reason whatsoever, with no continuity between episodes...
I hope this is enough to prove my case.
One thing I want to stress though is that this anime shows how important the budget is to make people laugh. Granted, the jokes are shit anyway, but even if that weren't the case, the pitiful amount of budget wouldn't have allowed enjoying this even from an ironic perspective. This is why I had to increase the speed for a less-than-3-min-per-episode anime.
Sure, there are exceptions to the rule, you have stuff like inferno Cop that with a similar budget still manages to get a few chuckles from the viewers (I thought it was repetitive after a few episodes, but still better than this pile of dregs). Why was that? Novelty effect + way better comedic timings and jokes. Inferno Cop didn't take itself seriously, it knew it was shit from the get go, Vampire Homles didn't.
The only exception comes from the OP (which is recycled as the ED, lol). Whilst not pathetic, it is still dreadful and tiresome, given the fact that it occupies 1/3 of the running time of each episode. I am fairly confident that almost the entirety of the budget was spent on the singer.
Avoid like the plague, there are better trash anime, like mars of destruction, Skelter Heaven, Ex-Arms, Arifureta...
SgtSalamander
I am truly flabbergasted. I don't even know where to begin. I walked into this not knowing what I was in for, which made the whole experience that much more bewildering. Vampire Holmes represents a legendary failure, a work so profoundly bad that it is truly only fit to laugh at, and even then that is being quite merciful. Every moment in Vampire Holmes is a new unfolding creative travesty, and it just gets worse the more you watch. It's like trying to explain an ambien hallucination. Who's the white-haired dude in the OP? Is that supposed to be Holmes?But I never saw him with white hair. Why can I see jpg compression artifacts throughout the anime? Is that on purpose? Why do the backgrounds keep changing mid-scene? Why are some scenes completely unanimated? Does it ever come up that Holmes is a vampire? This anime is based off a mobile game? Did they just break the 4th wall to hawk their DVD? This anime has a DVD? How did this happen, how did any of this happen? I suppose I must begin somewhere, so I'll begin with the story. Or, I guess I won't because there truly isn't one. That being said, it is still the best part of Vampire Holmes. The story consists of a barely strung-together series of nonsensical vignettes and bad punchlines. When it does attempt a story with more cohesion, spanning more than a single episode, it does so in a clumsy, melodramatic manner that totally fails to generate anything resembling an engaging moment. Its only redeeming quality is that it's funny, but not because of the comedy it intends to bring to the table, but instead because it is so bafflingly horrible that you really can't help but laugh.
The art, meanwhile, is irredeemably bad. Shoddy animation which often completely stops altogether, garbage, uninspired character design, frequent lapses between different animation styles and levels of relative quality- everything about it really is just that bad. The characters are somehow even worse, feeling simultaneously flat and unbearable. Holmes' is a characteristic deadbeat who is pretentious and refuses to ever work, abusing Watson at every opportunity, while Watson is a whiny, annoying springboard for Holmes and his ridiculous antics. Overall, Vampire Holmes is one of the worst anime I have ever seen, by far. The final nail in its coffin is that, at least with some other bottom-of-the-barrel shows, the effort put in is at least genuine. Not so with Vampire Holmes. Vampire Holmes is an advertisement which has stumbled clumsily into infamy, and all the joy that can be derived from it takes the form of derisive mirth at its expense, laughter spent in disbelief that its creators made something quite so bad, so unfunny, that it circles back around into something that is almost artfully terrible. I can't in good conscience recommend Vampire Holmes on the merits of its ironic enjoyment alone, but for better or worse, it has made itself a part of anime history, and if you have the stomach for trainwrecks, or perhaps a morbid curiosity for the worst of the worst, why not really plunge the depths?
