When a mysterious entity suddenly appears in the center of Tokyo, the Alta Mira Agency is tasked to repel the extraterrestrial threat. Otsuya Funagai must guide his all-female unit of "Battle Sole" pilots to take down the strange being no matter the cost. However, his intimate relationship with one of the pilots, Rin Ichikawa, may spell trouble for the team and the mission itself.
[Written by MAL Rewrite]
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Comentários
goshujin_sama241
For anyone who has watched and completed Mars of Destruction and thought it was the worst thing you have ever laid your eyes on, I (and probably anyone who has seen this) invite you to experience the joy of wasting 20 minutes of your day and watch Tenkuu Danzato Skelter Heaven. I was completely blown away at how terrible Skelter Heaven really is... it was so terrible that its funny, 10 minutes later and I'm still laughing I could bore you with how terrible the animation is, or how poor and lackluster voice acting is, or even how they managed yet again to skip a plotonly to later try to create one at the end... I shall not do that.
If you're in for everything you love and hate in an anime all rapped up into 19 minutes, or you just need a laugh, even if you find yourself with too much time on your hands then this is the right anime for you.
At times like this why isnt there a zero rating?
I really recommend that everyone watch this, it's only 19 minutes but remember, there are no refunds
literaturenerd
From the genius that brought you "Mars of Destruction" comes..."Skelter Heaven"! Yoshiteru Satao...That is a name that sends a cold shiver up the spine of any anime critic. This guy isn't just a bad anime director, he is THE bad anime director. Everyone has a director they personally hate. The famous anime reviewer Bennett the Sage has stated that Masami Oobari is the worst director of all time. Oobari is BAD, he is REALLY bad, but he doesn't even compare to Satao. Even the second worst anime director: Iko Suzuki with his 1,2,3, punch combo to the testicles ( Sleeping with Hinako, DearS, and Dark Cat)isn't able to touch Satao. You will know a Yoshiteru Satao anime the moment it starts. It is never ambiguous on whether or not it may have a redeeming quality. It is just eye melting horrible the entire time.
As mentioned above, Skelter Heaven is the 2nd MASTERPIECE released by Satao after his much acclaimed anime "Mars of Destruction". I would have taken a 1 million dollar bet that NO ONE could make a worse anime than Mars of Destruction, but Skelter Heaven does exactly that! Once again we have characters so bland that their hair colors are their only distinguishing personality trait. We have eye raping GOD AWFUL use of CGI. Finally of course we have a twist ending so stupid that M Night Shamylan would laugh at it! I can't emphasize enough that absolutely NOTHING in this anime works! There isn't a single nice thing I can say about it!
Giant Squid aliens attack Tokyo, so teens in giant mechs must combat the evil squids...which simply stay in one spot and don't move. It is like someone cut out a google image jpg of a squid, slapped it on the screen, and just left it there stationary with zero animation. Like Mars of Destruction, Satao is blatantly trying to ripoff NGE again, but he clearly has ZERO concept of what actually made NGE work as an anime. Instead we are just left with another absolutely mystifyingly bad abortion of an anime.
Don't watch this anime! Don't even think about watching this anime! You could spend those 30 minutes masturbating. You could spend them bashing your head against a wall! You could spend them doing basically ANYTHING, and it would be a better use of your time than watching Skelter Heaven!
Skadi
From Idea Factory, the creative minds that gave us Mars of Destruction, comes Tenkuu Danzato Skelter Heaven. I use the term creative minds loosely when it comes to anything from this studio. About the best I can say about this anime is, well its better than Mars of Destruction. The info page says this anime is based on a game. I have never heard of it but I will take their word for it. Perhaps playing the game would have made the story make more sense. From what I can gather, five cute and huge breasted girls who also happen tobe artificial beings are part of a military team of mech pilots. Seriously if you’re going to go through the trouble of making artificial beings you might as well make them big breasted cute high school girls’ right!? Their job is basically to do clichéd school activities and train in bouncing chairs that shake their tits. A crisis situation hits Tokyo when a gigantic mechanical squid monster appears over the city. Apparently this is only a crisis when it starts moving and is immediately deemed an enemy. I guess if a giant floating squid appeared over Stockholm my country's military would react. But I kind of think someone would attempt communication with it first. I mean at least check and see if they have a killer recipe for miso soup first. Our heroines are so enthusiastic about being called to an emergency situation that they rush to their mechs. And by rush I mean they take the time to shower before leaving. There is a gigantic squid floating over Tokyo and they are completely oblivious to this as they horse around and practice archery. Sounds like an exciting story huh? At least its only 18 minutes long, and 4 minutes are OP/EN songs. It will be over soon, mercifully.
The characters are just as pointless as the story. The only way you might remember any of their names is that they are displayed in the OP animation. They are flat and uninteresting and completely clichéd stereotypes. There is also way too many of them. There are almost as many characters as there is minutes of animation. They exist and their boring, that’s about all you can say about them.
Looking at when this was produced I am actually surprised this came out a year before Mars of Destruction. The animation quality and overall production values is light years ahead of the before mentioned classic turd. Though let’s not get carried away, the art and animation still suck pretty bad. Skelter Heaven uses a lot of CG effects. I am not a fan of CG but for the most part these are pretty decent. They aren’t bad so much as silly looking. (in particular the giant floating squid monster) Where it really fails is the integration of the characters into the backgrounds and mech units. It’s hard to describe, but they almost look like cardboard cutouts placed on top of the CG effects. There isn’t much detail to any of the characters and besides their hair styles and colors there is basically no difference in any of them.
The sound and music is the best aspect of this show. Some of the acting performances are pretty horrible though and several characters including the male lead seem to have voices that are horrible matched to their characters. The songs at the OP and EN are ok and are probably the only thing that feels like it was done by anyone with any talent.
Perhaps if you played the game and REALLY liked it you might want to check this out. However, my guess is the game probably sucked really badly too. Its mercifully short so it has that going for it. But it’s also too short to develop any kind of story or interest in it. The ending is also open and unresolved as is the fates of several characters. Not that you will care.
KMSquirrel
Too long, have I been watching shows where I understood what was happening. Too long also, have I been watching fully animated shows, when instead I should have been watching the glorious mix of visual novel and non-animation that this OVA delights viewers with. For an 18 minute OVA I'm glad they didn't fall in to the trap that previous writers have, in actually trying to tell a story, instead, showing me several flashbacks and a good 3 minutes of scenery.
butterflyeffectt
My friend told me a story. Let begins My father smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, "If you ever want to see your children graduate, you have to stop immediately.". Tears welled up in his eyes when he realised exactly what was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- "Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your father put us through.". I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say,I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it because this OVA gave me cancer anyway.
TheonlyRoggol
Where do I begin with this masterpiece. I cried with tears of joy when I was able to bear witness to pure beauty. Truly such art is not worthy to be seen by such lowly eyes as mine. SPOILER WARNING This show will make you reconsider everything you thought you knew about the world. The layers of depth and understanding it possesses are beyond human comprehension. The show starts with a full minute of low res earth footage over a monotonous heartbeat. This is a clear reference to low fi hip-hop beats to relax/study to. And is clearly an criticism of man's over-reliance on such vices. The monotonoussound works its way into your brain through repetition as it slowly drives you insane. This puts you in the mindset of the author who feels like he is being driven mad by society.
The VN intro provides insight on how fake and plastic our society has become. Relying on such images of cute girls in still poses to satisfy our impulses and desires. The music is off-key to give you a sense of unease that these girls might just be plastic and fake and the reality that this show presents may be hyper-reality and these girls are actually just a fake representation of man's desire for objectification.
This leads into the shows direct commentary on objectification culture by making the girls literally artificial clones who's only purpose is to satisfy the desires of their masters. Note, the appearance of this backstory in the middle of a battle scene amplifies the conflict created by society between men and women and this battle is perfectly exemplified by the Lins declaration of "I love you" which is only met by awkward silence. Misaki's desire to be seen as worthwhile is another example of this show's feminist message.
The artificial beings don't fear death because the are simple programmed to subsume themselves to society. This is a clear message about how society breaks down the individual and turns them into a mindless drone only to exist as a service to society. This a marxist critique of capitalistic society and systems through which needs are met through objectification and pandering. This patriarchy.
The editing is confusing and sublime in its presentation, you are expected to read deep into the abstract symbolism it displays. The mashing together of scenes in a way that seems chaotic. The long pauses between dialogue symbolises the absurd nature of our reality. The repetition of lines is to drive the message of the show home. The deep message about consumer culture and a message about how the girl is a tool used by society to destroy the squid monster. Exemplified by the line "It is not the tool that is at fault, it is the user."
The squid itself is a direct representation of the scapegoating immigrants as the real problem with society, the squid however does not attack until provoked. This shows our misguided approach to foreign policy. Our decisions to attack those who are different will result in only in a greater cycle of violence emphasised by the squids return in greater numbers.
The anime then circles back to the heartbeat to emphasis that al these problems are secondary to the plague of lo-fi hip-hop beats to study/relax to upon society.
This anime truly changed my life. Maybe I have shared with you just some of it majesty. But this shows is so abstract and divine that it cannot ever be fully understood. Evangelion pales into comparison to this masterpiece. Evangelion wishes it could be as profound as this show.
Nyphisa
STORY The story is, what again, absolutely amazing. Some sexy squid came down to save earth with its sexyness. Those evil robot women came and tried to stop them. This is brilliant. you shall watch just because of the amazing story. Some of the annoying girls got blown up and I laughed so hard. They did a love story too, but the squid automatically makes it 10/10. So good. ART They made the squid so sexy. Also, the first minute is probably one of the best minutes of my life. You need to see for yourself. The animation is just pure gold, no, diamond, no, antimatter, yes. The animation isantimatter. The squid. They had to make the girls so goddamn ugly. They had to show some weird ahegao face on one of the girls. I dont want to see that. I wanted to poor bleach into my eyes, the squid saved me from doing that.
SOUND
Pure antimatter. is there something any rarer? If there is, this is it.
The first minute should just show how good sound can be in anime.
The voice acting was really good. The quality of the mics they used was good.
Character
Squid.
The squid
The squid was so sexy
His personality is definitely there, especially for a main villian.
The squi.
And the girls are there
They made me want to die.
But the squid.
The girls tried to attack the squid.
Enjoyment. It is very enjoyable.
The scenes with the girls were bad. The scene with the squid were amazing
Blood_Diver_A
[Satou Syndrome] June 30, 4:36 pm X Hospital Emergency Department It was Tuesday afternoon. The sun was bright and glowing, and the sky was devoid of dark clouds. There was a cool, summer breeze, but still, the temperature remained at a sweltering 90°F. And, it seemed that this weather would persist for the rest of the week. The young doctor, whom was viewing the weather outside, returned to his duties. He was about to proceed to his next patient, when a nurse interrupted him.“Doctor! I had just received a call from the paramedics. They said they’re transporting a patient with ‘that syndrome’!”
The doctor stared at her and said, “You mean ‘that syndrome’! My god! Assemble the team, and prepare for the operation.”
“Yes, doctor!” replied the nurse.
Minutes later, the paramedics arrived. Wheeling the patient in, they burst through the double doors and slid him onto the hospital bed.
The doctor and his team, consisting of nurses and technicians, were ready. The team had their equipment and scrubs on, and were waiting for the doctor’s orders.
The doctor, suddenly, asked, “Okay, before we proceed. Is this anyone’s first operation?"
Several hands rose.
“Okay, this is going to be brief. What you are going to encounter is called, ‘Satou Syndrome’, named after Yoshiteru Satou. The bastard that created Mars of Destruction and Skelter Heaven.”
A nurse interrupted, “Mars of Destruction? You mean that lethal anime that can melt people’s brains! Are you saying that Skelter Heaven does the same thing?
“No, it doesn’t melt people’s brains, instead it causes anaphylactic shock. Only people that have viewed Skelter Heaven develop ‘Satou Syndrome’, while those that viewed Mars of Destruction never live to develop it. But, enough talking. Let’s begin the operation.
The doctor and his team entered into the patient’s room. The doctor noticed that the patient had hived skin, blurred vision, low blood pressure, and shortness of breath. He was suffering from respiratory problems, and a severe lack of electrolytes.
The doctor thought, “The poor guy. His body must have suffered a severe allergic reaction to Skelter Heaven, just like everyone else.
"His eyes were becoming blurry because of the appalling CGI mechs and aliens, the bland character design and uniform, the lack of details, and the cheap background images.
“His shortness of breath was caused by the story's random scene placements, such as a random flashback detailing their school life, a random confession of love with no development, a random unexplained plot twist, and a random alien invasion from nowhere.
"The characters were devoid of any personality traits, and seemed to have the intelligences level of a pebble, which caused his low blood pressure. And finally, the sound was terrible with shoddy voice acting, and out-of-place background sound, causing his skin to hive.”
“We need to work fast!” said the doctor, “First, intubation and bagging, then inject the Epinephrine. Then, set up an IV with normal saline. And, finally, monitor all vital signs.”
The team quickly opened up the airway with a laryngoscopy and then placed a endotracheal tube into his trachea. A bag value mask was attached to the tube, and a nurse began to bag the patient. The patient began to breath normally. Another nurse stuck the Epinephrine auto-injector into his thigh, and immediately, the patient’s skin and blood pressure returned to normal levels. The IV was inserted into his vein above the elbow. Receiving enough IV fluid, the patient’s eyes began to clear up. The patient had survived!
Several hours later, the patient thanked the doctor and said, “I will never watch any of Yoshiteru Satou’s works again!"
The doctor answered, “Good! Never watch shit anime because it will kill you. Watch something else.”
The doctor turned around and was about to exit the door, when a nurse interrupted him.
“Doctor! There’s…”
“Goddamn it! There’s always another one!” yelled the doctor.
The End
Darken-san
Is this really the worst anime of all times, according to MAL? I took my time to watch this 19 minute OVA for the sake of curiosity of understanding why this anime is on the bottom of the bottom of the ranking of MyAnimeList. To try to understand why is it the only anime with a score below than 2.0, even worse than Abunai Sisters (something that gives me eye cancer just by looking at the characters). It turns out that it's not as terrible as I was expecting. Is the anime bad? Yes it is. Is it the worst thing that ever existed? Nah, far fromit.
First of all, you have to mind that this OVA is based on a PS2 game, something created especifically for the fans of the game. You can't really expect it to develop a well structured plot, even because you don't have enough time to do something like that in 19 minutes. So without knowing the context of the story of the game, you can't really take the anime too seriously on that regard.
The art is okay considering this was released in 2004, though I have to say the 2D animation is very low budget. The thing that is dreadful, however, is the 3D animation of the show. Be it the mechas or the giant alien squid, there's no action, no motion at all. It feels odd and out of the place, and I believe those CGI graphics are bad even for 2004 standards. It's so terrible, even the dramatic parts of the OVA felt comic from just how bad the CGI was animated.
The characters are okay, neither good or bad. The only one that stands out is the girl that said she loved the guy, it was a somewhat beautiful scene.
All in all, I found this anime unecessarely underated. If the score was fair, I believe this OVA would be rated around 5.5 in MAL. I don't see a feasible reason for it to get a score that low, like if it was hated by everyone.
From my perspective, this is just a very low budget mecha OVA from a PS2 game. It's not something you should take too seriously in the first place. It's just a fanservice bonus for the players of the game of that time.
I even dare to say that, if this had more production budget than it had, given a proper 12 episode story to work it, it could turn out to be something decent. But it's not what happened. The budget is low, and so is the quality. That's just how it is.
From all that being said, I DO recomend watching it if you're bored with nothing to do. It's just 19 minutes after all. You can easily find it subbed on YouTube and take your own conclusions. My conclusion was that this is NOT the worst anime of all times.
Sandwich17
This anime changed my life forever It was so good that I watched it 20 times and my parents can't get me to stop watching it now I'm on the streets because they kicked me out of my house 10/10 would recommend. This anime changed my life forever It was so good that I watched it 20 times and my parents can't get me to stop watching it now I'm on the streets because they kicked me out of my house 10/10 would recommend. This anime changed my life forever It was so good that I watched it 20 times and my parents can't get me tostop watching it now I'm on the streets because they kicked me out of my house 10/10 would recommend.
This anime changed my life forever It was so good that I watched it 20 times and my parents can't get me to stop watching it now I'm on the streets because they kicked me out of my house 10/10 would recommend.
This anime changed my life forever It was so good that I watched it 20 times and my parents can't get me to stop watching it now I'm on the streets because they kicked me out of my house 10/10 would recommend.
This anime changed my life forever It was so good that I watched it 20 times and my parents can't get me to stop watching it now I'm on the streets because they kicked me out of my house 10/10 would recommend.
This anime changed my life forever It was so good that I watched it 20 times and my parents can't get me to stop watching it now I'm on the streets because they kicked me out of my house 10/10 would recommend.
CodeBlazeFate
"If the best thing I can say about your show is that the girls are hot, then your show is terrible!" -CodeBlazeFate, approx. 1 month ago Hey look; it's everyone's least favorite cuntbag back for another round round of demolishing a long since dead horse. This time, we're gonna be taking a look at the lowest ranked anime of all time (well, at least on this website anyway), with an aggregate score of 1.94/10 as of the time I'm writing this. That number is impressively low to say the least. Produced by the same people that produced everyone's favorite nightmare, Mars of Destruction, this anime actuallymakes that addition (that came out a year later) an improvement, and that really speaks volumes of how awful this show is. So, what happened? What went down to make the collective user base of MyAnimeList dub this the undisputed worst anime of all time? Well, let's find out, shall we?
STORY AND CHARACTERS: 1/10
Nothing happens for any sort of reason. We know that aliens are attacking and that these girls pilot mechs to stop them and that a research facility is there for this purpose but we don't know if these girls are the only ones who can stop them. We spend half of it just seeing the girls dick around while their leaders discuss things and half on one singular battle. The girls with barely any personality whatsoever (some of whom don't have names apparently in this adaptation) act like they're undergoing a character arc and that they've endured much together, and I'm sure this happened in the original visual novel, but here, that's not true at all. Was this made for the VN readers? Even they wouldn't like it anyway thanks to the atrocious pacing of video game cutscene levels and the even more abysmal CGI. I mean it when I say the pacing is atrocious. Emotional payoffs don't remotely work either since it feels like this was supposed to span a couple of episodes for us to get to know the characters and whatnot. The characters are as basic as they can be, if not worse, and character relationships are rushed beyond belief. This isn't just a bad anime, it's a bad adaptation.
ART: 1/10
Let’s address the elephant in the room; the CGI is fucking awful. It is some of the worst CGI I have ever seen in my life. It looks worse than Sega Dreamcast CGI, which came out in the mid-90’s, a decade prior to this, you know, when games were still experimenting with CGI? The mechs are that bad, and so are the squid...alien...things! As a mecha fan myself, this probably hurts even more. Also, any and all impact and action with these things is clunky and awkward as all hell. The character art style is also pretty mediocre. Here’s a scene where the alien sprouts extra tentacles and it looks like a video game glitch occurred. The OP shows the game models, that look better than this. I mean, the girls are still hot (and that's literally the only good thing about this anime) but there are better styles, even for the time, that they could've been rendered in, be given that this was a digital style from pre-2006, I’m just glad they didn't use the SEED/SEED Destiny art style. Also, the OP contains mostly footage that would be blatantly reused in the actual scenes themselves, so make of that what you will.
SOUND: 3/10
The OP, “NAKED HEART" by Minori Chihara, is pretty bad and sort of obnoxious. It doesn't even fit with the intended tone of this anime. The ED, “Marionette (マリオネット)" by Minori Chihara, is just eh, but at least this one works better with the “tone” of this anime. The rest of the music is just bleh and there, not adding to anything, and just being mediocre or somewhat bad tracks that aren't even memorable. I mean, I've heard worse, I've heard the OST to Mahouka after all (and the beeping haunts me to this very day), but that doesn't make this one good in the slightest.
ENJOYMENT: 2/10
This was even more boring than Mars of Destruction, and evenless unintentionally funny. I fact, I felt more repulsed thanks to the hideous mech CG and overall incompetent script that feels rushed as hell. It's 18 minutes of awful that is somehow not offensive enough for me to outright loathe my bad experience with this show. Still, I don't see how this is even unintentionally entertaining. It was just horribly boring.
OVERALL: 1/10 RAW SCORE: 1.43/10
So, that was Skelter+Heaven. No wonder people have widely considered this to be the worst anime ever made. I mean, I personally feel like there are a few worse ones out there, but this is still up there. The visuals are repulsive, the pacing is abysmal, and the characters and writing behind them are borderline wasteful and assuming too much of the audience that probably hasn't a clue as to what is going on because they, like me, haven't played the VN. Fuck this anime for being just pathetic. With all that said. I bid you adieu.
Leopard
Skelter Heaven is an outstanding OVA. Of course, it's hard to avoid comparing it with Mars of Destruction, the most notable work of the same company, and I can say that this is definitely worth more attention. The story is very coherent and easy to comprehend even though the pacing is as fast as a bullet train (It's a common trait of all works of Idea Factory). The writers managed to insert several unexpected plot twists and shocking revelations, and the most amazing part was the final scene. It's as deep as the Mariana Trench and the End of Evangelion combined, extremely thought-provoking and philosophical. Themeaning of the final scene can't be comprehended without an insight into the inner world of the characters, because there's so much development and drama in these 18 minutes. Note that all the characters have names, however they can be seen only in the credits roll. Probably the authors wanted to show how universal their characters are, and that's not surprising considering that one of the main plot lines is about the eternal problem of unrequited love between people from different social groups.
Art is definitely the strongest point of the series. Not only the character designs are at the incredible level of typical eroge, Idea Factory decided to use modern technologies to the fullest. Unlike Mars of Destruction which had old-style graphics, Skelter Heaven offers us GLORIOUS 3D robots and space monsters. Even though the characters aren't 3D, they are inserted into the CG models, and it looks especially innovative. Even after five years, other studios still can't reach this revolutionary level of art quality.
Sound in Skelter Heaven isn't as awesome as in Mars of Destruction, there aren't any Beethoven's pieces in the soundtrack. However, the creators didn't hesitate to make an opening and an ending for a single episode OVA, and decided to hire top-class voice actors who did their job of conveying the emotions of the characters perfectly. I'll never forget the heart-rending scream of the heroine when she was in despair during the fight with the overwhelming enemy force.
Overall, this OVA is very enjoyable, it'll literally make you laugh and then move you to tears (though you'll probably laugh most of the time).
Tyujg
This anime is a real classic. Even though it came out just over a decade ago, its fan base is still as strong as ever, especially with the Tenkuu Danzai Skelter+Heaven airing just a while back in Japanese theatres. Genuinely shocking moments, a complex plot, and one of the best examples of characterisation and expression make this a timeless classic. I have watched every episode at least 10 times, and I still can't get bored with it. Even with this anime being a decade old, the animation is still quite impressive, even if its not on par with some of the more recent anime. The voiceacting (sub, not the dub ) is brilliant too. I still can the characters maniacal screams ringing in my head. And not to worry, the series still has plenty of mecha action.
In short, this anime is a must watch for any anime fan. Some will like it, some will hate it, but its hard to disagree that this is one of the most stirring pieces of animation you'll ever watch.
LIQfilms
If there is a God then why did he allow this to exist? I have no idea what the hell they were thinking when they made this garbage. The sheer incompetence and lack of any talent is insane and this anime makes Pupa, Dark Cat and Black Bullet look like Shakespearean masterpieces. If you think Mars of Destruction was abysmal, the same studios somehow managed to outdo themselves with this beautiful work of fiction. Every frame, piece of dialogue and character makes me want to staple my balls to a moving truck on a roundabout going 120 miles per hour. There is nothing in thisOVA that is remotely fun or comes close to been watchable. As bad as Mars of Destruction was, I was laughing my ass off constantly during the entire run-time since the show was so laughably bad. I didn't have this experience with this OVA. I just wanted to find the nearest supermarket, locate the bleach and go to town.
The OVA starts off with this atrocious opening which sets the standard of quality before diving into this shit. The song, in all honesty, is not too bad, but it's generic as hell and so forgettable. The opening tries to introduce the characters and stuff but it comes across as more repulsive than alluring. The plot for this piece of crap focuses on a world in which big monsters are threatening the fate of humanity and it's up to random, skittle-coloured hair girls to save the day. The plot is so generic and goes nowhere. As do the characters. In fact, this anime was so great that I can't even tell them apart half the time and I remember none of their names. Hell, I can barely even remember what the hell they did and I just finished watching this OVA thirty minutes ago! Each girl is so generic, so vapid and so dull that it's impossible to even tell who they're or to care for them in the slightest! Each one of the girls are forced to fight against these strange squid things which are made entirely out of GGI and they attempt to make it dramatic and sad but it comes across as so forced as the writing is so bad. Each girl has rather large breasts in a poor and pathetic attempt to try and market this waste to as many filthy weebs as possible but even the filthiest of weebs will not watch this dumpster fire.
They actually have the nerve to throw in a random flashback scene in such a pathetic attempt to force some kind of drama in at the very last second without fleshing out characters or developing anything first. They also have one of the most forced and trite deaths as well in such a weak attempt at trying to make the audience cry. It's so bad. The animation is some of the worst I have ever seen. Nearly everything is made out entirely of CG and it makes me want to wax my eyes shut! It's so stiff and horrible looking that you'd swear you were looking at a bad Nintendo 64 game. The character designs are also not much better either and are the most boring and cookie-cutter designs you could ever possibly get. There was no attempt at doing anything here. Just a cheap cash-grab. The music and the voice actors performances were some of the most poorly done I've ever heard. There is no emotion, no substance. Everyone feels as if they were pinned down to record their lines since everyone sounds so uninterested.
Clearly, nobody gave a crap about this production. It's terrible directed, produced and worst of all, you can't even laugh and have a joke at it since there is nothing fun in it all. It remains an empty husk with no ideas and no originality. It's one of the worst anime I have ever seen and that's saying a lot. If you are going to watch this then prepare a bottle of bleach. Trust me, you'll need it.
And with that, this concludes my twelve days of Christmas! Thank you to everyone who read my reviews; I certainly had a lot of fun writing them. I know I'm a day late but, Merry Christmas!
(Part of LIQfilms 12 Days of Christmas - Day 12)
lawlmartz
"Y'know, I could spend about 10 hours talking about how incredibly dumb this anime is... but I'm going to try and do it in 9." - Mr. Plinkett. I had put it off for far too long. Once you've had a taste of this vile poison Idea Factory calls "anime", there's no stopping it. It invades your mind, defiles your thoughts, and contaminates your entire being. This is the goal of the asinine Idea Factory- a group of people who can be called no less than anime terrorists- to destroy anime from within. Animation: (if you can call it that.) The 3D.... oh MY BUDDHA THE3D! It's almost as if the screen was covered in vaseline, and I was watching someone horribly fail at the 1999 Superman-64 game (AKA one of the worst of all time, with as many polygons in the entire game as I have middle fingers.)
I thought Cubix was bad... at least Cubix was a lovable kind of bad- and a kid's show. This... this odious beast was targeted at an older audience... for something? A game, google tells me. Apparently enough schmucks with more money than sense bought it to warrant Idea Factory ever having another paid hour of work... which resulted in Mars of Destruction.
The giant flying squid looks like a Pokemon reject, and given how incredibly low Pokemon's standards for design are, that's saying something. They made a |set of keys| a Pokemon. They made a >ripped garbage bag< into a Pokemon. THEY MADE A F*CKING ICE CREAM CONE POKEMON! This squid somehow far surpasses the profound stupidity of the most awful Pokemon, and manages to make the keychain look cool.
“It’s the worst film ever made. Now, when my kids get out of line, they’re sent to their room and forced to watch Skelter Heaven ten times." -Arnold Schwarzenegger
Where the (Characters and Story) should be:
As it's much more esteemed cousin Mars of Destruction holds a stellar 2.46 rating against Skelter Heaven's 2.12, Skelter Heaven makes MoD look like The Usual Suspects. This anime is literally worse than anything Coleman Francis, Paris Hilton, OR Hulk Hogan ever made. It's worse than any parody movie with the title " Movie" in it. The awfulness is just so hard to accurately describe, that I'm just going to quote Mike Stoklasa on this: "(this OVA is the) "biggest pile of horse crap I've ever seen."
The giant squid was the best, most sympathetic character I've ever seen in anime. No one understands it, or even makes a paltry attempt to- everyone just wants to maim and destroy it. It's obvious that this terrible invader who has done nothing but fly over the city, observing, has been by before, as evidenced by the incredibly in depth biological knowledge that the humans have of it. So, why didn't you kill it before, idiots? There's no wonder it protects itself... I'd have to protect myself from this lethal dose of idiocy if I were it too.
Then we come to the big, dumb ending. Nobody gets their head blown off this time... it ends with a whimpering "but I love you". PLOT TWIST EVERYONE, CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH KILLING A GIANT SQUID THAT'S HURTING NO ONE BECAUSE THEY DECIDED LOVE HAPPENED! And that's all there is to it.
“The worst film ever made by far… maybe one of the worst films in the entire solar system, including alien productions we’ve never seen…. A flatworm could write a better script than Skelter Heaven. In some countries — China, I believe — running Skelter Heaven once a week on government television has lowered the birth rate to zero.” -Sylvester Stallone on Skelter Heaven.
Enjoyment: 1
Inferior in every way to Mars of D... at least that schlock was good for a laugh. This is just unfiltered asininity. I've enjoyed such things more, including but not limited to: watching paint dry, watching grass grow, watching CSPAN, watching golf, watching Nascar, watching Naruto fillers, watching Baby's Day Out, Red Zone Cuba, or Hercules Vs the Moon Men FIFTEEN times in a row without food, drink, or a bathroom break before I'd watch this again.
"I would rather tear out my brainstem, carry it to the middle of the nearest 4 way intersection and skip rope with it than watch Skelter Heaven again" - Squidward
Overall: 1
I had some drain issues last week, and bought this extremely caustic drain cleaner called Pipe Destroyer- full of lye (high molarity Sodium Hydroxide, the label reads "warning, fatal if ingested" {that shit will burn your skin off and the bones under it, turning you into a pile of smelly, caustic jelly}).
One would think that it would be impossible to follow up such contemptible trash as Generation of Chaos- as in, IT IS UNFATHOMABLE TO BE ANY LOWER THAN THE ANIME HELL IT RESIDES IN!
But, here we are. It can get no worse, they say. It can't hurt any worse once you've reached rock bottom. Things can only get better. I'M HERE! IT STILL HURTS! IT BURNS! It burns like that lye I bought to clean my drains, but ended up drinking for a less painful death than watching more Idea Factory.
Someone please erase every mention of Idea Factory from existence.
"Skelter Heaven doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. It isn't the bottom of the barrel. It isn't below the bottom of the barrel. It doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels." - Roger Ebert
keory
Better than Fullmetal Alchemist (real) Now i need some text to publish this review, so here we have the Bee movie script: Shrek, a grouchy, mean, selfish yet insecure green ogre that has always enjoyed living in peaceful solitude in his swamp, finds his life disrupted when numerous fairy-tale beings, including Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, and Donkey, are forced into the swamp by order of the obsessive, perfectionist, fairy-tale despising Lord Farquaad. Shrek leaves the swamp to ask Farquaad for the return of his privacy, with his new friend Donkey happily tagging along. Meanwhile, Farquaad tortures the Gingerbread Man into revealing the whereabouts of the remainingfairy-tale creatures until his guards rush in with an object Farquaad has been searching for: the Magic Mirror. The Mirror tells him that Farquaad can only become a real king by marrying a princess (completely disregarding his original question regarding if his kingdom was the fairest of them all).
The Mirror gives him three princesses to choose from (in a parody of The Dating Game): Cinderella, Snow White, and Princess Fiona. Farquaad chooses Fiona and silences the Mirror before he can mention "the little thing that happens at night" (which is later revealed to be a curse). Shrek and Donkey arrive at Farquaad's palace in Duloc, where they find themselves in the midst of a tournament. The winner will have the "privilege" of attempting to rescue Fiona from a castle surrounded by lava and protected by a fire-breathing dragon so that Farquaad may marry her. Shrek (with some help from Donkey) easily beats the other knights in a fashion that resembles a wrestling match and Farquaad agrees to remove the fairy-tale creatures from the swamp if Shrek rescues Fiona.
Shrek and Donkey travel to the castle and split up to find Fiona. Donkey encounters the dragon and sweet-talks the beast to save himself before discovering that the dragon is female. Dragon takes a liking to Donkey and carries him to her chambers. When Shrek finds Fiona, she is appalled at his lack of romanticism. As they are leaving, Shrek manages to save Donkey, caught in Dragon's tender clutches, and causing her to become irate, chasing Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey out of the castle. At first, Fiona is thrilled to be rescued but quickly becomes disappointed when Shrek takes his helmet off and she realizes that he is an ogre.
The three make their return journey to Farquaad's palace, with Shrek and Fiona finding that they have more in common with each other along the way and falling in love. However, at night, Fiona refuses to camp with them, taking shelter in a nearby cave until morning. Shrek and Donkey stay awake and watch the stars while Shrek informs Donkey that he plans to build a 10-foot wall around his swamp when he returns. When Donkey persistently asks Shrek why he is doing this, Shrek sadly confesses to him that everyone judges him before they get to know him. Therefore, he feels he is better off alone, despite Donkey's admittance that he did not immediately judge him when they first met. Fiona hears this and decides to be kinder to Shrek the next day.
The next night, Fiona takes shelter in a nearby windmill. When Donkey hears strange noises coming from the windmill, he finds Fiona has turned into an ogress. Fiona explains she was cursed as a child and turns into an ogress every night, which is why she was locked away in the castle, and that only a kiss from her true love will return her to her "love's true form". Shrek, about to confess his feelings for Fiona, overhears part of their conversation, and is heartbroken as he misinterprets her disgust at her transformation into an "ugly beast" as being disgusted with him. Fiona makes Donkey promise not to tell Shrek about the spell, vowing to do it herself, but when the next morning comes, Shrek has brought Lord Farquaad to Fiona. The two return to the castle, while a hurt Shrek returns to the now-vacated swamp, not long after breaking off his friendship with Donkey, out of anger.
Shrek finds that, despite his privacy, he is miserable and misses Fiona. Donkey comes to the swamp, angry at Shrek and Shrek reveals that he overheard their conversation. Donkey keeps his promise to Fiona and tells Shrek that she was talking about someone else. He then tells him that Fiona will be getting married shortly, urging Shrek into action to gain Fiona's true love. They are able to travel to Duloc quickly, thanks to Dragon, who had escaped her confines and followed Donkey.
They interrupt the wedding before Farquaad can kiss Fiona, but not before the sun sets, which causes Fiona to turn into an ogress in front of everyone. While her transformation causes Shrek to fully understand what he overheard at the windmill, Farquaad, disgusted over the change, orders Shrek killed and Fiona imprisoned, but Shrek whistles for Dragon, who bursts in and devours Farquaad. Shrek and Fiona admit their love for each other and share a kiss; Fiona is bathed in light as her curse is broken but is surprised to find that she has remained an ogress, as she thought she was supposed to become beautiful, to which Shrek replies that she is beautiful. The two of them get married in the swamp and depart on their honeymoon while the rest celebrate by singing "I'm a Believer".
Taht s not the Bee movie script sorry
Asfaria
Are you tired of good plot and characters? Do you hate "creative plot twists" and "unique" things? Want an anime that you can laugh at with your friends (or alone)? From the makers of Mars of Destruction (actually this came first) comes the 2004 anime OVA by the world-renowned company called Idea Factory that is rated an impressive #6578 on MAL (one rank above MoD). How is it ranked above the amazing Mars of Destruction you may be asking? For starters, characters other than the male protagonist actually get names! There is beautiful CG that perfectly clashes with the normal 2D anime characters and backgrounds! Peoplehave hair colors that deviate from the basic color wheel! Annoying beeping in the control room ftw! MECHS THAT FIGHT GIANT SQUIDS FOR NO APPARENT REASON!
(Edit)
....Wait. This just in. Tenkuu Danzato Skelter Heaven is now officially lower rated than Mars of Destruction making it the lowest rated anime on MAL. I think this deserves a round of applause *clap clap clap*. (end edit)
Basically if you loved all of the hilarity and amazing plot points in Mars of Destruction or any other *um* similarly great OVAs, then you'll love the fun, mecha-action-packed "Skelter+Heaven" (wtf does that name even mean?!?). It has mechs, action, romance, possible (stupid) psychological undertones, drama, comedy, and tons and tons of PLOT! Oh, and awesome CG....
Yeah, it sucks but watch it for the laughs since it's available on YouTube and it's only 18 minutes. Actually, the opening song is kind of decent, so at least there's that.... I guess.
KingFlabadingdon
Anime is and always has been, a great story telling medium. Since its conception it has been defined by a list of exceptional names. Perhaps the most influential of these names, is that of Tankuu Danzato Skelter Heaven. Some would argue that anime was still merely a lost sheep before that fateful day of December the 8th 2004. But on that day, what critics and anime fans alike were met with was a wondrous spectacle of both creativity and entertainment that has never before been witnessed. Writing a review with mere words imagined by mammals such as ourselves will never do this anime justice, butthe name of Tankuu Danzato Skelter Heaven is a name that must be made known.
Story- 10
Never before I have I seen such a compelling and well-crafted story. In the measly 19 minutes that my eyes were blessed with, I experienced entire life stories, unbelievable plot twists, captivating storylines and a highly satisfying conclusion. Recommended for all persons.
Art/ soundtrack- 10
The amount of times I was moved to tears in this anime was most likely due to this subsector. The sheer beauty of the landscapes and soundtrack transported me into a surreal state of consciousness that I have never before felt. My soul felt liberated throughout the anime and simply remembering a scene brings joy to my heart.
Characters- 10
The love and care put into this anime was most prevalent in the characters. The actions and responses from the entire cast were full of emotion and purpose. Interactions between the characters are amongst the most memorable moments in anime history.
Enjoyment -10
It is rare to use such a word in what is essentially art. Art is meant to be admired. Yet, amongst all the splendour of the visuals and richness of story, there were some truly exhilarating scenes that will certainly ignite the fire in your heart. The sheer scale of the conflicts, the plot twists and all of aspects explained above made this an anime I did indeed enjoy.
Overall- 1
Yes. The name of Tankuu Danzato Skelter Heaven is one of those defining names of anime. It is a name that set out to provide entertainment and meaning to everyone’s lives, regardless of gender, age and race. And did it achieve that goal? Nah, i'm just messing. In all seriousness, this is the worst anime in existence, only to be watched for a good laugh at how awful it is.
Reeceypie
If you've come to watch a piece of trash, then you've came to the right place! Tenkuu Danzato Skelter Heaven makes Mars Of Destruction look decent. Yes, its that bad. The Story doesn't make any sense what so ever. The art is disgusting and often goes from 2D to 3D and just generally looks stupid. The voice acting is also terrible and just sounds very unprofessional. Overall i gave this OVA a rating of 1. Don't ever watch this. you'll be wasting 20 minutes of your life.
